I feel like I need to do "Speed Blogging" because there are so many different things in my brain.... here goes:
1) Post-Pardum Depression is hard to talk about because I get embarrassed after I get it off my chest and want to delete my whining from the universe.
2) I hope I'll be awesome one day... but I secretly think I'll be sort of lame forever.
3) I'm afraid of judgement. Not the fire and brimstone kind. Just the quiet, snide, "browsing through the facebook feed and thinking, "pssh... retard", half-eye-roll, deep sigh kind of judgement. I mean... I am so afraid of judgement... I mean.... I am SO afraid. It is pathetic.
4) Guess what... I'm embarrassed and I want to delete all of that now that I've gotten it off my chest.
5) I'm a happy, extroverted, ambitious, bubbly person who occasionally has problems with over-sharing. Except when I'm slightly depressed... then I'm a slightly depressed, extroverted but lonely, ambitious but mostly failing, bubbly but mostly tired person who occasionally has problems with over-sharing.
6) Why are women complicated?
7) It's the age of the internet... everyone vents. It's not like the old days when breaking forth and sharing your feelings with revolutionary and poetic. You're just another mope.
8) When I write this stuff I'm constantly thinking, "Crap, I'm leaving an electronic footprint behind me... no one will trust my professional image/brand with all this over-sharing... I'm an idiot."
9) I'm also thinking, "All my friends who have it 'together' are thinking I'm an idiot for doing this too."
10) I know that Success is really more of a feeling than an actual thing. I'd like to be successful now. And I'd like to be successful-er down the road. I have a feeling this is a long, dark rabbit hole.
PS - Nobody reads this crap, so I could write whatever the heck I wanted... my "digital foot print" is more of a silent tip toe in the sea of over-eager bloggerites... I wish I was bigger and above all of this. lol. I'm so typical. haha!