Monday, March 25, 2013

A Woman of a Certain Age

When ARE you "a woman of a certain age"??

Last week my mom said, "When I'm defining my goals, I ask myself, 'What am I going to think of fondly when I'm 60?' Then I realized, usually you think of 60 as being the very far distant future... but it's only 10 years away!"

Wow, mom. You probably didn't think I'd blog about that comment...

Also, last week, I said to my husband, "I've done NOOOTHING (insert super, super whiny voice, tinged with desperation) and I'm Twwwwweeeeeenty-Fiiiiiiiiive..."

When I was 12 my goal was to publish a book when I was 17.
When I was 17 my goal was to be a college professor by the age of 29.
When I was 20 my goal was to be a snappy business woman by 23.
At 23 I realized that The Tortoise and The Hare was speaking to me... slow and steady, Blair, slow and steady. So I decided 30 was my golden age and I would be insanely successful with a bevy of beautiful children on their way to adulthood by 30.
Now I'm 25.
Oh muh gawd.  My husband kindly reminds me that I'm probably over a quarter of the way through my entire life span. Thanks buddy.

What have I done?  Books?  Master's programs?  Business ventures?  No.  I graduated college only to re-enroll as a second-time-undergrad in a different field... I got married... I finished college again... I had a baby.  And every morning I wake up and say, "I'll never let my dreams shrivel on the vine!!"  Never ever ever.  No way jose.  I will not let LIFE sweep me down the same current as every body else.  I'm going to make my dreams come true come hell or high water or Spanx or nursing bras or mortgages or negative nancies or forehead wrinkles....

It is sinking in that the lesson I'm supposed to take away from all this is that failure to achieve the goals I set at 12, 17, and 20 were not failures so much as redirections.  They were doorways I didn't fail to open, but simply passed by on the way to my true purpose.

But I'm going to continue to live every day like "A Woman of A Certain Age" who is running out of time, who doesn't care about blundering, who ignores the nay saying and goes full throttle   I'm going to continue to live like age 30 is the falling axe... This motivates me to go crazy nuts bananas every week pursuing my goals.  But if I start to look like my life is over, just remind me... plenty of people live on after 30... example: your mother.

The KawaMama

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